i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
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