you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize