Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
