Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
