I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
