Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
