We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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