I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
there is glitter all over my balls
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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