3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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