he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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