normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
