That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
