its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
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