he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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