how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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