hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
