You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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