I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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