Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
