ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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