So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I came so hard my ears popped.
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