you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
