I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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