***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
