If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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