Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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