somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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