She announced her abortion via fbk
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
