This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
