your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
