Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
