Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
