did you get engaged???
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
