Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
