I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
