have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
