I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize
