You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
