My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize