Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
