dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
