that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
