I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
