I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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