Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
