Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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