Are we in a gay sports bar?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
