p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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