Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
