I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
