why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize