Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
