and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
