Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
