i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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