SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
