You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
