Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
