is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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