I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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