I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
